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Coffee Masturbater John Lind Pleads Guilty to Indecent Exposure

Minnesota had to change its sexual assault law after Lind's lawyer found a loophole allowing felony charges to get dismissed

Minnesota had to change its sexual assault law after Lind's lawyer found a loophole allowing felony charges to get dismissed

John Lind had a crush on his co-worker at Beisswenger's hardware store in New Brighton, so he masturbated into her coffee and on her desk on multiple occasions.

At first the co-worker thought they were just having issues with the coffee, and that it smelled kind of like spoiled milk, but eventually she caught Lind in the act and he was charged with felony sexual assault by the Ramsey County Attorney.

See also: Charges Dismissed Against John Lind, the Guy Who Allegedly Ejaculated in His Co-Worker's Coffee

Lind's lawyer got the charges against him dropped -- even though he admitted to the crime -- because there's nothing in Minnesota's definition of sexual assault that includes bodily fluids, and he never physically contacted her.

That outrageous injustice caused state Rep. Debra Hilstrom (D-Brooklyn Center) to author legislation this year to close that loophole.

"The court made it very clear in the order dismissing the case that we needed to address this statute, and that's what we're doing," she says. "It's making sure they have the tools in the future to address these cases properly."

But what could we do about Lind? Surely this guy isn't just going to walk free after admitting to a disgusting, terrible crime like that?

Ramsey County couldn't charge him again for the same crime, but the city of New Brighton managed to slap him with an indecent exposure charge -- not a felony, but something at least.

Yesterday he pleaded guilty to the charge and will be sentenced May 22.

Send news tips to Ben Johnson.