Chris Meusburger of St. Paul allegedly wanted to sword-fight his 62-year-old female neighbor

Asked why he was in jail, Meusburger said: "Because I'm an idiot."
Asked why he was in jail, Meusburger said: "Because I'm an idiot."

SEE ALSO: Man allegedly threatened to behead girlfriend with sword for deleting meth dealers' numbers

St. Paul Police say St. Paul resident Christopher Meusburger, 29, threatened to "seriously hurt" his 62-year-old neighbor on July 31, then brandished a sword in a "threatening stance."

What was all the fuss over, you ask? While one might assume it was money, drugs, relationships, or something similarly serious, it turns out Meusburger wanted a piece of his AARP-eligible neighbor simply because he didn't like her criticism of the way he treated a book she lent him.

According to the criminal complaint (via the Pioneer Press), Meusburger's neighbor was leaving her apartment on the 1600 block of Sherburne Avenue in St. Paul when she saw a book she had lent him sitting on the floor outside her door. On Tuesday around 8 p.m., she saw Meusburger in the apartment building and asked him why he didn't just throw the book away instead of leaving it as hallway litter.

In response to that question, Meusburger went bananas. He allegedly got in his neighbor's face, and with their noses touching, told her: "If you weren't so weak I would seriously hurt you."

"He pushed her back a few steps with his chest puffed up like he was getting ready to fight her," the complaint says.

Meusburger's neighbor smelled booze on his breath and told him she'd call the cops if he didn't back off. But the admonishment only served to further enrage him -- he went into his apartment, grabbed a large sword, then came back outside, ready for a showdown.

"He was in a fighting stance like he was ready to sword-fight with somebody," says the complaint. "She said she has never been that scared for her life before."

Meusburger eventually retreated to his apartment, where he was found by police when they came to arrest him. He told police he'd downed a 12er and, when tested, had a blood-alcohol level of 0.185. Police found "numerous additional swords, Ninja stars, daggers, [and] knives" in his apartment.

When questioned by police, Meusberger denied leaving his apartment with the sword, explaining that he only brandished it inside his unit while the door was open in response to his neighbor yelling at him. But he did admit some level of guilt, police say.

"He said [the sword] was not a threat but then he said, 'But I unsheathed it. Hard to think of it as not a threat,'" the complaint says.

Asked by an investigator why he was in jail, Meusberger replied: "Because I'm an idiot." He's been charged with making terroristic threats. If convicted, he faces up to five years in the slammer, where he won't be able to brandish a sword when he mistreats borrowed books and shit gets real.

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