Chris Kluwe to Emmett Burns: Gay marriage "won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster"
Kluwe to Burns: "Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level."
Last week, Vikings punter Chris Kluwe said Maryland Delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. (D-Baltimore County) is "literally an asshole" for writing a letter demanding that Baltimore Ravens ownership silence linebacker and outspoken gay marriage advocate Brendon Ayanbadejo.
But Kluwe wasn't satisfied. Last Friday, he wrote a letter to Burns in hopes of persuading the Baptist minister "to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth clusterfuck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in."
The letter, published on Deadspin, cites the First Amendment ("not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain"), the historical politicization of professional sports ("As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you're going to say that political views have 'no place in a sport'?), and the fact that gays tying the knot will have little direct impact upon homophobes ("I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life... They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster") as reasons Burns should reconsider his view.
Will the letter change Burns' mind? Probably not, but Kluwe's outspoken and humorous gay rights crusade is apparently persuading some Minnesotans to reconsider where they stand on same-sex marriage.
Jeffrey Monaghan, a Minnesotan living near Lake Superior, sent the following tweet to Kluwe after reading the Burns letter:
@chriswarcraftdude ... you changed my vote
-- Jeffery L Monaghan (@jefferymonaghan) September 10, 2012
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