'CEO from Las Vegas' seeks 'bikini models' for Super Bowl date

Does this 'CEO from Las Vegas' realize Minneapolis in February is not exactly bikini weather?

Does this 'CEO from Las Vegas' realize Minneapolis in February is not exactly bikini weather? Thinkstock

What does the man who has everything, including money to burn and tickets to the Super Bowl, want in life?

Companionship. Specifically: two Craigslist-using "beautiful bikini models" to join him as his dates at the big game. Oh, and some "Vip [sic] parties." There, one assumes, his hot-bodied companions are supposed to act like they just really like this guy... and not mention that he's rented their services for the weekend.

It's unclear if our purchaser, described as a "CEO from Las Vegas," is even much of a football fan. (Twice, his ad writes out the name of the event as "Superbowl," one word.) And he's obviously not waiting to see if his favorite team reached the championship game; this ad was taken out December 10, when it wasn't even clear which teams were going to the playoffs. 

The Craigslist kingpin will be in town February 1 through February 5, and is apparently shopping for local "talent," as he's asked that his models "show Me around Minneapolis." (This ad's full of typos, but a guy like this probably capitalizes self-referential pronouns on purpose.) Does this Nevadan realize Minneapolis will be freezing in early February, and that his models probably won't feel like "showing him around," period, let alone doing so in bikinis?

No matter. He will win their loyalty as any gentleman would: by buying it. Each model will receive $5,000 for her services. At four days of, uh, "work," that's about $1,250 a day: pretty good just to be some sleazeball's arm candy for a swanky party... but not nearly enough if said sleazeball thinks you're coming back to his hotel room later that night.

"Please send photos and a phone number," the ad closes. "Thank you." 

No, Mr. Las Vegas CEO, thank you, for reminding Minnesotans who they might meet during Super Bowl weekend. Be forewarned, folks. If you meet people decked out in NFL gear who won't shut up about their team, those are football fans. They should be welcomed, or at least benignly neglected.

If you meet a rich prick who knows almost nothing about the football game, and even less about the young women accompanying him, now you'll know how that curious threesome came to be. Be mindful of his shoes, which are undoubtedly very expensive. Consider throwing up on them.