Brian Wutschke allegedly drove down University Ave. fellating a sex toy

Wutschke is allegedly Minnesota's most perverted distracted driver.
Wutschke is allegedly Minnesota's most perverted distracted driver.

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Dead-deer ditch sex, holding up traffic because you're too preoccupied pleasuring a sex toy to drive... human sexuality is a complex thing, people.

Yesterday, Brian Wutschke, a 45-year-old Farmington resident, was arrested after police responded to reports of a man driving down University Ave. while sucking on a sex toy. The police call was made by a woman who witnessed Wutschke's strange sexy show while she was waiting at the University and Marion bus stop in St. Paul.

"I've seen a lot of University Avenue, but never anything like this," the woman told the Pioneer Press, adding that Wutschke was blocking traffic and within eyeshot of several kids.

After cops pulled Wutschke over, they found a sex toy under his flannel shirt, several pairs of panties lying all about his car, and a nice little surprise under his belt.

We'll let the Pioneer Press tell you about that: "When [officers] performed a pat-down search of the man and reached 'the waistline area,' officers could feel something vibrating. The man then informed them he also had a sex toy inserted inside him."

Inserted inside him? No wonder he was having a hard time concentrating on the road.

Wutschke was booked into jail on suspicion of indecent exposure and obscene materials and performance, both misdemeanors.

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