Breaking! Al Franken cross-dressing shocker! Must credit City Pages U.S. News!


U.S. News has a devastating scoop in its

10 things you didn't know about Al Franken

this week.

Al Franken began his career as a satirist in second grade in Minneapolis. After the girls in his second-grade class performed "this really insipid show, 'I'm a Little Teapot,' " Franken told People magazine in 1992, he gathered the boys together and wrote a scathing parody. They dressed in drag to perform it, bringing the girls to tears.

These revelations add to the aura of perversion and sexism within Franken himself.

We see a dangerous man here, a man hell-bent on bringing second-graders to tears while wearing women's clothing. The last American political figure to enjoy both of these things was J. Edgar Hoover, and we know how that turned out. Why does Al Franken hate children and want to make them cry? Why did he target the girls in his class? America demands answers.

Bloggers and pundits will no doubt seize on this, the latest in a series of damaging items. From earlier news, we know he's told jokes about lesbians to GLBT groups. You would expect this behavior out of a comedian. Which Franken was. You might even expect it out of a public figure speaking to a group of like-minded people on a political issue. Which Franken was. But you wouldn't expect it out of a man who, in second grade, dressed in drag. Drag, people.

We also know Franken has written for Playboy, which some consider a magazine for adults. In this magazine article, Franken made jokes about sex. Adult sex. Sexy adult sex. And pornography. If the procreation of George H.W. Bush has taught us nothing, it has taught us that sex is never, ever funny. Except on the Newlywed Game, and there it is called "Making Whoopie," as God intended.

Back to the most recent report. Consider that these are children Franken was reducing to tears. Children! And female children. Baby women.

What does this say about his judgment? "Yes," apologists might say, "but he was just a child himself. He was a second grader, for gosh sakes!" It's this type of logic that leads us down the slippery slope to Islamofascism.

Yes, this post just might be satirical. But with the recent feeding frenzy around the Franken campaign, you wouldn't be surprised to see some outlet take that innocent anecdote, pick up this angle and run with it, would you?

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