Breakfast of Champions 7/21: Happy Birthday, Ernie

In honor of Ernest Hemingway, born July 21, I offer my favorite Hemingway story:

Ernest Hemingway won the Nobel Prize for literature in 1954, five years after it was awarded to William Faulkner. Neither writer, however, thought much of the other. Faulkner, for example, once declared that Hemingway had "never been known to use a word that might send the reader to the dictionary."

"Poor Faulkner," Hemingway retorted. "Does he really think big emotions come from big words! He thinks I don't know the ten-dollar words? I know them all right. But there are older and simpler and better words, and those are the ones I use."

A lesson delivered, hopefully, unto pretentious fops everywhere.


Chris Rock came to the Orpheum. Despite what two attendees immediately behind Jordan Selbo would have you believe, he is not Chris Tucker. We have the pictures to prove it.

Different songs appeal to different communities. If you ever want to get an entire karaoke bar singing, though, Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" is a sure winner. Neil Diamond sang that one himself at the X this weekend, as you can see from Tony Nelson's slideshow.

The news is bad for Tim Pawlenty and for the Gulf of Mexico, but things are looking up for fans of softcore porn and homeless advocacy.

If I were a bigger asshole that I actually am, I would reply to this by saying: "No wonder! It takes a long time to sound out words."

From the weekend, two of Aquatennial's most photogenic events -- the milk carton boat races and the sand castle contest -- are represented in James Tran's photographs.

Cisco, which is known locally on the West Coast as "liquid crack," skips the pleasant buzz of a normal drunk and goes directly to rendering your body numb and mind incapable of movement. Needless to say, our staff liked it.

Gary Hodges is off to Comic Con, which is sort of like sending an alcoholic to a liquor trade show. But a really charming, witty alcoholic like Captain Haddock from Tintin, not a Nicolas Cage in "Leaving Las Vegas" style alcoholic. In other comic news, the Watchmen trailer is out. I am still disappointed that I was passed over for the role of Rorschach.

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