Breakfast of Champions 4/7: Viva la Feministas


Last night was the first of three dates Nellie McKay will play at the Dakota Jazz Club this week. Check out my review for a full recap.

I thought Jon Bream of the Strib's profile of Nellie and his review of her show were pretty good, but there's one passage I can't let pass:

McKay was consistently at her best when she was most quiet, on the blithely romantic standard "If I Had You" (done Tiny Tim-style on ukulele) and her feminist-lampooning "Mother of Pearl."

"Mother of Pearl" is not a "feminist-lampooning" song. When you lampoon something, you direct a harsh satire against it. She's lampooning anti-feminists, not feminists. When she says "feminists don't have a sense of humor," it's satire, and it's not exactly satire with a light touch, either.

I mention this because -- amazingly -- I've seen others miss the song's ironic nature, and because I saw this gem of modern gender relations on the ride home from the show:

Buy an engagement ring and leave her speechless. Because you want to marry her. You don't want to listen to her.


I tried to parse this in some way that didn't mean "Your woman talks too much -- purchase her a $5,000 hunk of glass-like material that probably cost some African guy his arm, and buy yourself five minutes of blissful silence."

Could it mean, "your loved one usually leaves you speechless with joy, so you should return the favor?" Maybe? Could it mean ... you're usually the strong silent type, but the moment of asking someone to marry you will make you effusive with joy?

I'm reaching here.

This is an odd strategy for getting someone to buy an engagement ring, and the whole "speechlessness" theme seems to conflict with the URL Do you want her speechless? Or just speechless in between loud loud expressions of "yes"?

Oh. OK.

Here's the thing: if you want to marry someone, you want a partner. If you want to pay large sums of money so that someone will have sex with you when you want them to, and not talk when you don't want them to, you want a sex worker.

This is generally cheaper than marriage anyway, unless you happen to be Eliot Spitzer.


Oakland's Why? and locals Heiruspecs tore it down at the Entry last night, and Andy Mannix was there. His breathless 3:30 a.m. after finishing the review contained all the wonder associated with a transcendent show, and made me forgive the Anticon group for their search-engine unfriendly name.

Kevin Hoffman's ethanol post citing a Time article sparks controversy in the comments.

Regarding Condoleezza Rice's reported interest in the VP slot: this isn't the job she really wants. She wants to be commissioner of the NFL. It sounds like a joke from that news release, but more than one friend at one of the country's service academies (West Point, USAFA) has met Condi, and sworn up and down that it's true.

Here's the Wild's playoff schedule. Our preview of the playoffs will be up tomorrow.

I for one am shocked that there's an unsportsmanlike thug in MMA.