Breakfast of Champions: 11/9


A new photo slideshow is up from Children's Theatre's world premiere performance of "A Special Trade," which opens tonight at 7 p.m. We'll have two or three more slideshows up this afternoon from local events and shows, so keep watching.

UPDATE: One of those is up now, from last night's Retrorama at the History Center.

On the Blotter, Paul Demko writes about a seismic shift in Maplewood's power structure. Jonathan Kaminsky blogs about a longtime St. Paul resident who wants to lead Somalia. Ward Rubrecht is back with a new edition of cPod (with a brand new logo). He talked with Peter Scholtes about The Owls (and you've gotta listen to that, trust me -- Pete's passion for the subject matter really comes through), Jonathan Kaminsky about the Timberwolves and Jeff Severns Guntzel about Mark Cangemi, the immigration cop profiled in this week's issue.


Yesterday: anteaters. Today: pigs. Perhaps you've heard of the Winona pet-sitting disaster, where a woman left her pet pot-bellied pig (say that three times fast) in someone else's care for nine months.

Now, ordinarily, you would assume that pressing legal action against someone who let your pet get fat was just an example of America's rising litigiousness. But.

On a presumed diet of scavenged cat food (and possibly Krispy Kremes), the little porker inflated to thrice its normal size. Scroll down for the pic, or a side view photo here. The pig was 50 pounds! Nine months later, it was 150 pounds! Fun fact: If the average American male tripled in weight, he would be as heavy as the average Rocky Mountain Elk.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Bloat a Pig, Go to Jail.

In other pig-related news, the Gopher football team will try to claim Floyd of Rosedale this weekend in their clash with the University of Iowa. A victory would double the Gophs' win total this year, so they'd have to be pleased about that.

Finally, apropos of nothing, I would be remiss if I didn't note this story about a Wisconsin man who stole a snowplow at knifepoint. But wait, there's more: he stole the snowplow as a getaway vehicle to make his escape from police. Police apprehended him months later. And Tased him. Three times. And sicced a police dog on him. All this before he was finally taken in for good.

Kudos to him for the Duke Boys mentality of "if I can just make it home/across the county line, I won't be arrested" -- and triple Duke Boys points for pulling the Taser darts from his chest twice before finally going down -- but if you steal a snowplow, I think you deserve a seat in jail right next to the pig-bloaters.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to carve Matt Snyders' head in butter. Carry on.