Bradlee Dean pulls George Washington quotes 'from his anal cavity' in latest column
Who needs real George Washington quotes when fake ones better serve your purpose?
Bradlee Dean often invokes the Founding Fathers' words as justification for his unique brand of tracksuit-adorned crazy. But if civil libertarian blogger Ed Brayton can be believed, Bradlee isn't above pulling words from his you-know-where and putting them in Father George Washington's mouth.
In his latest column -- provocatively and no doubt accurately entitled "56 Million Dead Thanks to Gov't Gun Control" -- Dean kicks things off with the following quote from our first president: "Firearms are second only to the Constitution in importance; they are the peoples' liberty's teeth." According to Brayton, this isn't just a fake quote -- it's a "bastardized version of a much longer fake quote that often makes the rounds in those idiotic emails you get forwarded by your ignorant uncle."
Later in his column, in one paragraph, Dean both misquotes Washington and flat out concocts sentences he attributes to him:
FROM DEAN's COLUMN: President George Washington, when arming the people of the United States of America, said:
"A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government."
FROM BRAYTON: The first clause is accurate, the rest is invented. The first part comes from his first annual message to Congress, but here's the actual quote:
free people ought not only to be armed, but disciplined; to which end a Uniform and well digested plan is requisite: And their safety and interest require that they should promote such manufactories, as tend to render them independent others, for essential, particularly for military supplies.
The invented part of the quote "was evidently pulled from Dean's anal cavity, though I don't know how one could extract anything from that orifice with his head stuck in it," Brayton writes. We couldn't have said it better ourselves.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss City Pages' biggest stories.
- Sketchy Toby Keith's I Love This Bar and Grill empire crumbles
Sat., Oct. 17, 12:00am
Sun., Oct. 18, 12:00pm
Fri., Oct. 23, 7:00pm
Sat., Oct. 24, 7:00pm
- Anti-abortion investigators' shocking revelation: U does research
- Top 5 Hate Mails of the Week: 'I can't believe Shitty Pages...'