Many folks are told not to steal. But few are told, "If you steal, you will fall off a cliff." That's exactly what happened to a 29-year-old man yesterday as he ran from the Coffman Union Bookstore on the University of Minnesota campus. The guy somehow thought he could evade police who were after him and his jacket stuffed with textbooks.
From Ian Larson at the Daily
Security stopped the man at the west door near Starbucks when two textbooks stuffed in his jacket and pants triggered the alarm. The man, who was not a University student, told bookstore security that a tag on his shoe had set off the alarm. He then walked out the building and tried to retrieve a bicycle from nearby bushes, according to a police report.
Three bookstore security personnel followed the suspect, who abandoned his bicycle and began to run toward East River Road near the bluffs, where the guards caught him, according to the report.
The guards then wrestled with the man, who flailed his limbs and squirmed until he broke free, but as he rolled through the grass and weeds, the man slid down the bluffs to a lower ledge and yelled that he had been pushed over. He eventually fell almost all the way to the water's edge, according to the report.
Then the man reportedly tried to swim across the Mississippi, later telling the police if he had something to breath out of they never would have found him. We're guessing the dude pictured a Jason Bourne type escape, or maybe he was just trying to pull a move from Ducktales.
The story gets better. When police finally caught the man his face was all dirtied up. The guy apparently thought he could camouflage himself and blend into the riverbank. Epic fail.
Still, we feel for the guy. College textbooks are expensive.