Hundreds if not thousands of Minnesotans fell over yesterday, and many, many more did that weird thing where you have to slip and slide your feet around like a panicked fool just to avoid faceplanting.
Injury numbers are probably still accumulating -- not unlike snow, which is in today's forecast -- but the Star Tribune reports at least 70 people were admitted to St. Paul's Regions Hospital with ice-related medical problems, while 50 such cases arrived at HCMC in Minneapolis.
Whether those figures say anything about each city's residents' ability to traverse icy streets and sidewalks is up for debate. We're not about to cast aspersions; roughly half the staff of the local Minneapolis alt-weekly finished yesterday brusied or bloodied.
Injury figures weren't included in the Star Tribune story for Bloomington, but we can safely say it was pretty friggin' slippery there too, based on this Instagram clip of a salt truck sliding down a frozen street.
View this post on Instagram
Hope everyone’s having a better day than this salt truck sliding outside Michele’s house! Drive safe out there! ❄️❄️❄️ ↠ ↠ ↠ ↠ ↠ ↠ ↠ ↠ ↠ ↠ ↠ ↠ ↠ ↠ #mobilevetclinic #housecallvet #polarvortex #minnesota #bloomington #iceicebaby #february #monday #winter #nbc #cbs #minneapolis #minnesnowta
When the very vehicle that's supposed to de-ice the streets... can't make it down the street... without getting turned sideways and sliding like a just-released curling stone... what chance do we mere mammals have against the curbs and steps and sidewalks of this accursed tundra?
No chance. We're screwed. Just try not to fall on your face. Watch your step and brace yourself. Consider buying new shoes and/or wearing a helmet. Beg for good luck. Pray. These are your options.
This weather's not going anywhere, either. Expect up to six inches of snow in the Twin Cities area today and tonight, and another 3-6 inches by Thursday morning. Are you ready for that?
Of course not. But then again, if you're a true Minnesotan, not being ready for -- and complaining about, and fearing, and still somehow embracing -- the weather is kind of the whole point.