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Bloomington mosque creep's video features cars, music, bad capitalization

YouTube

YouTube

We Minnesotans have been subjected to some pretty scary movies about folks who live here.

Think actor James Woods posting a video of people... shopping at the Mall of America.

Or formerly local dolt Pete Hegseth talking to people... standing on the sidewalk in their neighborhood.

And who could forget the time Jacob Wohl and Laura Loomer were so sure they'd get death threats they decided to... do it to themselves?

If you're not already gripping the arms of your office chair and fearing the dozens of terrorist attacks your dumbest high school classmates assume happen in Minneapolis every day, wait until you hear the music bed on the Bloomington mosque creep's YouTube video. 

There's a lot to unpack from this creepy man's trip to Dar Al-Farooq Islamic Center. First, there's the fact the guy who's complaining about "Traffic Levels Violating City Code" (weird flex capitalizing every word in that phrase, but you do you, YouTube hero) is filming from behind the wheel and breaking state law. 

And if you've never been scared out of your wits by the sight of a long row of parked cars, well... just think about it! Listen to that music, look at those cars. Mind you, reader, this is quite a few cars we're talking about here! Just think of how long it would take a valet to find your car if your car was one of these cars! Scary!

Also: There is some mud! Who doesn't dislike mud? Show us someone who doesn't dislike mud, and we will show you someone who hates America.

If it wasn't bad enough already, prepare to avert your eyes to a scene of people... sitting in a football field. Plot twist: Some of them are standing up! One is walking! 

Hold us, reader, for we, like YouTube Man, are afraid.

The video then cuts to a clip of Abulahi Farah, the man who filmed our intrepid videographer and uploaded the clip to Facebook. If seeing him say "These are innocent people, innocent families," doesn't freak you out, you are literally the bravest person ever born and should secretly start spending your nights sneaking out to fight crime and kill terrorists. 

More than 8,000 people have watched this deeply disturbing video about parked cars. Some have left comments. Let us read a few.

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Aaaaaand that's plenty. Let's take a break from this terror so that we can change out of the pants we just peed in.