Best Buy helps you stalk your children with GPS


Ah yes, just what America needs. A device that allows overprotective parents to follow their child's every move via GPS. We can't wait to see how these kids turn out as adults. We're assuming they will be a little "off".

Best Buy is now selling a GPS device for parents to keep track of their children. The product is being sold under Best Buy's house brand, Insignia, and will cost you $99. It's called "Little Buddy Child Tracker." It's like a probation ankle bracelet, but so much cooler!

Here is the product description:

Keep tabs on your child at all times with this small but sophisticated device that combines GPS and cellular technology to provide you with real-time location updates. The small and lightweight Little Buddy transmitter fits easily into a backpack, lunchbox or other receptacle, making it easy for your child to carry so you can check his or her location at any time using a smartphone or computer. Customizable safety checks allow you to establish specific times and locations where your child is supposed to be -- for example, in school -- causing the device to alert you with a text message if your child leaves the designated area during that time. Additional real-time alerts let you know when the device's battery is running low so you can take steps to ensure your monitoring isn't interrupted.
Of course! Because all children remember to grab their backpack and lunchbox when they decide to wander off or jump in a stranger's car for a spin to the ice cream parlor. And what happens if the class bully steals your kid's stuff? You'll likely fall into a full-on panic attack when you get text alerts showing your kid taking a bus to the other side of town. And let's not even begin to imagine the 911 calls cops will get when parents believe their children have been kidnapped because some kid thought this little GPS stick looked like a cool toy to borrow after school.

We understand the need for this device for certain children who might have certain conditions that make them more likely to wander off away from adults into unsafe conditions. But let normal kids be normal kids. You can't control them at every moment and it seems like enough of us make it out of childhood in one piece.

And we can already see the minds of creepy stalkers churning. Just hide this in your ex-girlfriends car and know where she is at all times! How convenient.

No one is listening. The device is so popular that it's already on backorder on the Best Buy Web site. Our country is screwed.