According to a Fox News report, about 40 percent of all bank robberies involve some sort of facial covering. Missouri, having utilized the security policy, witnessed a 47 percent decrease in heists in 2002.
Soon, cashing a check at the drive-up window will require pre-screenings complete with retinal scans and fingerprint recognition. Have we forgotten the philosophies our moonshining, trigger-happy forefathers laid before us? Nowadays, crooks come in shooting all cowardly, making us long for a return to western vigilantism defined by a good dusty chase through Blatz Beer Country: