Baby tossing is not a sport

Never shake a baby like a monkey

Never shake a baby like a monkey

An Eagan babysitter is accused of abusing a six-month-old child so badly that the girl suffered nine broken bones.

When police questioned her, the sitter admitted to swinging the baby around like a monkey.

Here's the list of broken bones: both femurs, both arms, left shinbone, right ankle, right wrist, and two left ribs.

When doctors discovered a broken femur and shinbone in April, they did a full body scan and found the other fractures, which had occurred up to four weeks beforehand.

When questioned, 30-year-old Laura Marie Wilkinson admitted she had been a little rough with the baby on several occasions when she was frustrated with the infant's nonstop crying. —Emily Kaiser

The police beat

The Minneapolis Police Department last week released an internal report on complaints against officers. The report also outlines the department's use of force.

The report, available online at the cops' website, was created by the Internal Affairs Division, the MPD unit that investigates cops when they're suspected of being dirty or of beating some poor guy on the street.

Some highlights from 2008:

• Officer-involved shootings: 8

• Use of force: 1,157 incidents

• Taser used: 398 incidents

The report also has some interesting data on the race of people arrested and those against whom the police used force. The bottom line: The majority of people the cops arrested and used force against were black. —Erin Carlyle

Strib union beefs

A former Star Tribune editor now teaching at Arizona State University accused the Teamsters of trying to "bully" other unions at the paper on his blog last week.

Tim McGuire, who now teaches "the business of journalism" out west, recalled the 1982 strike at the paper and claimed that the Teamsters "boxed out" the Newspaper Guild during the walkout.

"The Guild thought it was their strike and it never was," McGuire wrote. "The mailers and Teamsters decided when the strike was going to start, and they ended it. One of my favorite true stories of newspaper lore came when a veteran copy editor from the Guild walked up to a teamster or mailer leader (I can't remember which) and gave him 30 dimes and nickels. Get it? Thirty pieces of silver and all that."

For those who miss the reference, it's to Judas taking money for his betrayal of Jesus.

McGuire goes on to suggest the Teamsters won't play nice with management because their Central States Pension plan is in trouble and they want the Strib to foot the bill.

Many months ago, on the same day the Teamsters had voted down concessions, we happened to run into one of the drivers at Cuzzy's and asked him why they wouldn't swallow the same cuts the other unions at the paper agreed to. He said they were being asked to bend over and take it, and they weren't doing that for nobody, not without a fight. —Kevin Hoffman

Wisconsin wants your vacation

Madison, Wisconsin, is so desperate for visitors this summer that they are willing to pay for the gas it takes to get there.

While the offer sounds a little too good to be true, it's the real deal. Any visitor who books a hotel room on the Greater Madison Visitors and Convention Bureau website will receive a $10 gas card for PDQ. The offer expires at the end of June.

But with gas prices on the rise, $10 won't take you very far.

A good alternative: We'll just do a Minneapolis staycation instead. —Emily Kaiser

Porn Names 101

National American University or Naughty American University...which would you rather attend? We vote Naughty.

National American University is suing its porn counterpart for trademark violations and cyber piracy for its use of a similar name and the same acronym.

National American University (NAU) has been operating since 1997 and offers students associate, bachelor's, and master's degree programs on 16 campuses in South Dakota, Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, Missouri, New Mexico, and Texas.

Naughty American University, on the other hand, has existed since 2003, and is just like regular college, except you get paid.

Unfortunately, the school doesn't realize the porn association might bring in people who would never have otherwise attended a school with a cheesy commercial that airs nonstop. Whatever tricks kids into attending your school sounds good to us.

One day, one night, Saturday's all right. Online's just fine, nighttime, anytime! Bam! —Emily Kaiser