Authorities can't stop Weird Wisconsin beach sex

Because nothing screams romance like the prospect of intercourse on a Wisconsin nudist beach.
Because nothing screams romance like the prospect of intercourse on a Wisconsin nudist beach.

In 2012, Wisconsin authorities closed the public forest around the Madison-area Mazo nudie beach in hopes it'd curtail people from going in the woods and getting it on. But it didn't do the trick, and so earlier this year, they closed the beach on weekdays.

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Unfortunately for authorities, that hasn't worked either. In other words, it appears there's no stopping Weird Wisconsin beach sex. All haters can do is hope to contain it.

From a Winona Daily News report:

The Department of Natural Resources issued 13 citations at the beach between June and early October this year. All were for sex, and 11 were issued on weekends. Those numbers are down from 2012's totals, but wardens said the problem is far more prevalent than the numbers suggest. All the citations were issued during just seven days of surveillance and some people seen having sex ran off before wardens could cite them.

Nathan Kroeplin, DNR law enforcement supervisor for the county encompassing Mazo Beach, told the Daily News, "There's definitely frustration." (He wasn't referring to sexual frustration, of course.)

"Some of the stuff we cited people for was fairly discreet," Kroeplin continued, "but there was other stuff out in the wide open and never once did I see somebody come up and say, 'stop that.'"

But don't fret, nudists of the upper Midwest. Even though authorities are pretty much out of ideas when it comes to stopping people from bumping uglies on and around the beach, Kroeplin told the Daily News officers aren't yet considering closing the beach entirely.

"That would be a pretty big step and I don't know if we're ready to go there yet," he said.

-- Follow Aaron Rupar on Twitter at @atrupar. Got a tip? Drop him a line at

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