Anti-gay activist thinks bisexuals are polygamists

In the latest salvo in Minnesota's gay marriage debate, Jason Adkins of the Minnesota Catholic Conference has raised a question that no has answered. No one has answered it because no one has ever asked this question, probably because, frankly, it's not a very good question.

In short, Adkins is wondering: If you let gay people get married to each other, wouldn't bisexuals just want to marry one person of each gender?

That is, okay, let's just...okay.

Mr. Adkins' issue, which he brought up in an interview with Politics in Minnesota, has brought a new level of dumbness to the gay marriage argument, and raises many other questions that no one can answer.

Questions like, "Won't dog lovers just want to marry their dogs?" Or, "Won't Twins fans want to marry signed memorabilia?" And, "What's wrong with Jason Adkins' mind?"

Just for context, not that it helps him, here's Adkins' full thought-like word thing, as delivered to Politics in Minnesota when discussing the "slippery slope" that is letting gay people get married:

"There's little reason why you'd limit it to two people at all," Adkins said. "What if a bisexual wants a partner of each kind, a man and a woman? Are you leaving that group out?"

Lady Gaga: Noted bisexual, bachelorette, bat person.
Lady Gaga: Noted bisexual, bachelorette, bat person.

No, Jason, but you probably are. Fortunately, someone from "that group" has ridden to logical thinking's rescue. Lauren Beach of the Bisexual Organizing Project -- and believe me, to keep  everything in order those people need to stay organized -- explained to the Minnesota Independent that Adkins has this whole bisexual term a little mixed-up.

It's not, she says, that bisexual means you are constantly-all-the-time trying to get married to anyone who's around. (Medically, that particular disposition is known as "Larry King.") Rather, bisexuals choose one person to date, same as the rest of us; they're just fishing in a slightly larger pond, so to speak.

"To suggest that all bisexuals need to marry more than one person at a time is a common misconception about bisexuality that demonstrates a deeper need for education about bisexual identities in our society," Beach told the Independent. "Being bisexual is not synonymous with being polyamorous. Some bisexuals, just like some gay, lesbian, transgender, and straight people, are polyamorous."

So, there you have it. At the moment, there is only one group formally requesting the legalization of three-, four-, and five-person marriages, but now is no time to turn over public policy decisions to divorce lawyers.

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