John Conyers, the longest serving black congressman in history, resigned this week after 52 years. He was charged with high crimes of degeneracy.
The 88-year-old Detroit Democrat stood accused of treating female staffers like his state-funded harem, rubbing their butts, sliding hands under dresses, appearing naked before them in his home, and asking for sex. His sins were said to span decades.
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi at first refused to condemn Conyers. Like so many of us, Pelosi seemed eager to downplay the misdeeds of her own political persuasion, while offering no similar charity to opponents.
Alas, she was forced to swiftly reverse course and called for his resignation. A liberal feminist siding with a creep over his marks does not make for good optics, as politicians like to say.
Enter Minnesota’s own pervert in residence, Sen. Al Franken. He too is charged with serial degeneracy. Seven women have come forth with accusations ranging from forcible kissing to grabbing butts at the State Fair.
There are differences in the two men’s depravity, of course. Conyers’ carries the greater stench of predation. Franken’s feels more assholic frat boy.
But since “At least my guy is only a dickhead frat boy” doesn’t make for the sturdiest argument, any nuance was lost on black Democrats.
They saw their colleagues quickly join the Conyers resignation bandwagon, while remaining relatively mute on Franken.
"She's gotta explain what the discernible difference between Congressman Conyers and Sen. Al Franken is," Conyers’ lawyer Arnold Reed said of Pelosi.
With that, Franken became the poster boy of White Privilege: Pervert Edition.
“Black lawmakers wonder why Conyers has to go – but not Franken,” read a headline in Politico last week.
It was followed by another in The Hill: “Black Dems see bias in response to sexual harassment claims.”
The problem wasn’t so much that whitey as a whole was getting a break on Capitol Hill. No one expected Republicans to police their own. They shed their last, tenuous grip on morality by electing Donald Trump president, he of a whopping 16 sexual harassment and assault allegations. Next week, they’re likely to elect accused pedophile Roy Moore to the Senate.
The GOP’s new slogan: Fewer Morals than an Alabama Mall!
But black Democrats did expect their presumably enlightened colleagues to not kill the black guy first, as if they were all characters in a 1985 horror film.
It took white Democrats another a week to finally decide that, yes, Al’s a full-fledged creeper. They didn’t seem bothered by the claims of bias. Nor did they appear particularly disturbed that Franken should not rightfully be left alone with anyone bearing the powers of reproduction.
The problem was that Al was embarrassing them. And in the U.S. Congress, nothing matters more than Them.
Yesterday, after a congressional staffer came forward to say Franken tried to forcibly kiss her in 2006– that’s accuser No. 7 if you’re scoring at home -- Franken’s allies melted away. Seven women senators called for his resignation. Once they saw it was safe to go outside and join the herd, another 13 grudgingly followed the leader.
Old Slogan for the Democratic Party: We Lost Our Courage in the Seat Cushions Sometime in 1983!
It’s doubtful Franken can withstand this mass defection. He’s scheduled to make an announcement today. Which may be a good thing.
When he inevitably resigns, Franken will once again be simply known as a garden-variety pervert, rather than the poster boy for white pervert privilege.
- 'He totally grabbed my butt': Woman alleges Franken groped her at State Fair
- 'I can't say I haven't done that': Watch Al Franken talk butt-grabbing for 33 minutes with WCCO
- 'I respect women': Read Al Franken's lengthy apology after Leeann Tweeden story
- Leeann Tweeden: Al Franken 'stuck his tongue in my mouth,' groped me in my sleep
- Woman: Al Franken said kissing her was his 'right as an entertainer'
- Sexual harassment expert weighs in on Al Franken
- Support collapsing, Al Franken schedules 'announcement' for Thursday