Aesthetic police could be after your outdoor couch


Best sign of spring weather near the University of Minnesota? Student drag their dingy used couches out to the porches and yards of their equally shitty yards to bake in the sun. Booze in one hand, cigarette in the other, students really couldn't be happier.

In the latest plan from the Minneapolis aesthetic police, Council Member Diane Hofstede has proposed an ordinance to ban sofas outdoors.

More from the Star Tribune:

Under Hofstede's proposal, upholstered furniture not made for outdoor use or mattresses would be declared a nuisance if placed in a yard.

"It's been an ongoing conversation piece in the university area for years," Hofstede reported.

The ordinance is based on laws in six other college towns, but ordinance advocates say the horrid outdoor couch is a citywide problem.

So why tell people to that that ugly couch out of their yard? Health, safety, and aesthetic concerns. They say the upholstered furniture gets moldy and vermin nest inside it. Sofas can also be extremely flammable and just plain ugly.

In other words: Your couch makes Dinkytown look ugly. Funny one, right? That neighborhood has many more problems to deal with than rotting couches.