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Adrian Peterson's anti-gay marriage remark disappoints his boyfriend, writes The Onion

The Onion: "Adrian Peterson's Boyfriend Can Take A Hint"
The Onion: "Adrian Peterson's Boyfriend Can Take A Hint"

Adrian Peterson isn't "down" with gay marriage. That remark is sure to disappoint some of his gay fans, but of course, nobody is more disappointed than his boyfriend, If The Onion can be believed.

THE BACKSTORY: Adrian Peterson on gay marriage: "I'm not with that"

Of course, it can't (or shouldn't be believed, at least), but nonetheless, here's the satire site's humorous take on the controversy AP generated with his to-each-his-own-but-I'm-keeping-it-real remark about opposing gay marriage:

MINNEAPOLIS--Responding to Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson publicly asserting his firm opposition to gay marriage, the reigning MVP's longtime boyfriend Scott Oakes told reporters Tuesday that he "can take a hint" and now understands that the athlete isn't interested in marrying him. "All right, Adrian, I get the message loud and clear," said Oakes, noting that Peterson's stated position that gay marriage is "not something [he believes] in" perfectly explained why his lover had yet to pop the question at any point in their three-year relationship. "He can't see himself being with me in the long term? That's fine, but if that's how he feels, he should have had the guts to tell me directly rather than letting it slip out in some radio interview. I'm not with that." Oakes added that, with Peterson now out of the picture, he was considering trying to patch things up with his former flame, Miami Dolphins wide receiver Mike Wallace.

We await Chris Kluwe's response.

-- Follow Aaron Rupar on Twitter at @atrupar. Got a tip? Drop him a line at arupar@citypages.com.


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