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200 cows drop dead on Wisconsin farm

Why did 200 cows drop dead on a Wisconsin farm?
Why did 200 cows drop dead on a Wisconsin farm?

Add this to the list of spooky animal deaths this month: 200 cows have up and died of causes unknown in Stockton, Wis.

There's also no explanation yet as to why thousands of blackbirds fell dead out of the sky in Arkansas on New Year's Day, or why millions of fish carcasses fetched up on Maryland's coastline (You'd think 2012 was approaching or something).

The Portage County dairy farmer, whose name hasn't been made public yet, reported the field full of dead cows on Friday. Samples from the animals were sent to a Madison lab for tests.

So what's with the mass cow exit from Earth? Mass sickness? Biblical prophecy? Insidious government conspiracy? Maybe this is a job for Alex Jones. Or Jesse Ventura.

Then again, perhaps it's a job for the National Wildlife Health Center, which investigates mass wildlife die-offs, or "mortality events," all over the country.

Our vote for most likely cause: Chupacabra.

Officials in Wisconsin say there's no reason to think that whatever killed the cows could kill humans, too. All the same, we're glad that Stockton, near Stevens Point, is a good long ways from Minneapolis-St. Paul:


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