Wednesday's five most fascinating stories printed on wood pulp:
Lazy and pathetic deer hunters get busted We find sitting in a tree waiting for a deer to walk by pretty lazy, but these hunters who use bait are even more pathetic. What's the fun in that anyway? Telling your buddies how great it was getting drunk and tricking animals? Ha! Dozens of Minnesota deer hunters had their guns confiscated, paid hundreds of dollars in fines and put their hunting privileges at risk during opening weekend, according to the Strib.
Smoking bans taking over college campuses The Strib has another look at the smoking ban that could kick smokers off campus. What for? Protecting people from second-hand smoke. We still don't understand how this protects non-smokers considering they are smoking, uh, out in public, into that giant space of air. Can we sue the United States then when we get lung cancer from breathing in second hand smoke while walking to class? We're confused.
Augsburg student attacked for supporting McCain/Palin An Augsburg College student from Alaska was beaten on election night while walking to her dorm after being called a racist because she was wearing a Republican button. The freshman suffered blurred vision and a possible concussion. This isn't change we can believe in.
Even a pitbull can raise strange pups How heartwarming. A normally terrifying dog gets all motherly on us and takes in a family of abondoned pups at the Animal Humane Society. We can all get along, right?
Is the Pioneer Press running out of stories to fill their pages? The paper ran the same story about the student's bomb threat hoax on two pages today: