10 things we're not thankful for
BY CP STAFF
We know, it's Thanksgiving. We're supposed to go on about all the stuff we're glad about. Well, harrumph. There's plenty about Thanksgiving that we could do without - 10 things, to be exact. Have your own suggestions? Leave 'em in the comments section below.
Yeah, it's been fun to watch the Vikings steamroll everybody, but only the saddest fantasy football junkies should care about clashes of mediocrity like Packers vs. Lions.
There's only so many times a turkey enchilada hot dish can be reheated before it becomes The Mush of Death. It's nice have enough food for everyone on T-Day, but a week's worth of leftovers afterwards is just annoying. This year let's cut down on the gallon tub of stuffing and four apple pies, 'kay?
The annoying relatives
It's Uncle Bill, who complains about his hemorrhoids the whole weekend. Or the nephew who runs around screaming with a pillowcase over his head. Maybe it's the fundamentalist wing of your family, the ones that try to make you feel bad for fearing God less than they do. These lame relatives turn what should be a nice family get-together into an excruciating, weekend-long torture session.
Endless holiday specials on the teevee
If you've seen one Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, you've seen them all. And we're really really sick of A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. Is it too much to ask for the family to gather 'round for a heartwarming viewing of Total Recall?
Everyone fawning over the latest recipes from Martha Stewart and Rachel Ray
Why is the cooking world still enamored with the Ex-Con and Peggy Pepster? The two both re-use "family recipes" that are really just knocks off from "The Joy of Cooking," a tome published in 1931.
Everyone is happy and the Indians were our friends! Now, we can forget about that whole smallpox-infected blankets thing, right?
If you're the Thanksgiving cook, you spend half a day of your precious vacation washing dishes afterward. If you're a guest, you feel obligated to help clean up when you really just want to take a nap.
After Thanksgiving dinner, the excitement's over and everyone's gone home, but there's just boring specials on TV and nowhere to go because it's a holiday.
All the bottlenecks, stop-and-start, and idiots (that is, the other drivers) of your regular commute, magnified for the holidays by the presence of your family in the car and all the mini vans filled with annoying kids who make faces (or worse) at you through the windows.
No, the stuffing is not exactly like grandma used to make. And the pie might not have been made with your favorite brand of canned pumpkin filling. Sorry that you've gotten so used to instant flakes that you don't know what real mashed potatoes taste like, but we're not switching. Funny how the complainers, who always have a wealth of suggestions for how the cook could "improve" the meal, never offer to host the dinner themselves.
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