Zombie Pub Crawl survival plan
Ah, the Zombie Pub Crawl-- that heralded night of debauchery, which successfully marries the nerdery of hardcore LARPers with the limitless drinking of any white hat frat party.
If you mean to survive this night of stumbling, both voluntary and involuntary, you'd do well to check out Gimme Noise's survival tips. Just head below the jump and stell theyself--armageddon awaits.
1. Use your zombie-hood to mask your drunkenness. Ordinarily, being shitfaced is a proper excuse for all sorts of misbehavior. But it's a tired, overworked excuse, and deserves a day off. Tomorrow's Zombie Pub Crawl afford you an even better way to explain your stumbling attempts to make out with a few dozen people--you're UNDEAD for God's sake.
2. Pace yourself. We're not talking about your drinking. Asking a ZPC attendee to pace their drinking from bar to bar is an affront to everything the event stands for. No, we mean don't blow all your fake blood and brains at the first bar. Save it for the Cabooze, where a few hundred professional drinkers will be encouraged to annoy the staff with their remaining munitions. In the war between man and zombie, the Cabooze will be your Alamo. Come properly armed.
3. Order your drinks in simple English. Remember that the bartenders are putting up with the most obnoxious and difficult crowd this side of a Vikings-Packers game. When the Grumpy's staff asks you what you want, don't say "brains," unless you're prepared to choke down a whiskey and saliva.
4. Be on the lookout for actual zombies. With all the chaos, the ZPC is a prime opportunity for the bonafide brain eating undead to mix with an unassuming crowd for a midnight feast. Don't be fooled, and remember the time honored way to tell if that guy beside you is a human in facepaint or a bonafide zombie. Punch him in the face. If he screams "What the fuck," you'll know he's not to be bothered with.
5. Know your brains. Take a page from the book of Hannibal Lecter. Actual brain matter has a springy texture, much like fresh lobster. foam rubber, of which fake brains are ordinarily made, crumbled when consumed, and offers virtually no nutrition, and a high risk of toxicitiy. Accept no subsititues!
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