Wait, R.E.M. was still a band?: R.E.M.'s breakup floods the internet with bad jokes

Wait, R.E.M. was still a band?: R.E.M.'s breakup floods the internet with bad jokes
Photo by Anton Corbijn

R.E.M.'s announcement today that they're calling it quits as a band after 31 years has shaken the rock world. Wait, it has? Wait, they were still a band? Did everyone know that?

The media response to the news has been full throttle, with shoddy puns abound. We were all set with ours: We were going to say something about how everybody hurts sometimes....But doesn't that one seem to easy? It does, right? Well if it doesn't, then we call dibs on it. That's our one: R.E.M. Breaks Up after over 30 years: Everybody Hurts Sometimes. There, called it. 

Here's a few other choice excerpts from the R.E.M. internet wake:

  • The Atlantic Monthly: R.E.M. Breaks Up: "It's the End of the Band as We Know It"

  • Yahoo: "Cue the rapid-eye-mourning."

  • From R.E.M. Split up--Nobody Hurts: "News has just reached us that R.E.M. have called it quits after an astonishing 31 years. And while it's true we hadn't really paid them much attention for a while, it was always nice to know they were there."

  • From the obituary: "For the past three decades, R.E.M. helped define 'college rock,' 'alternative rock,' 'indie rock,' or whatever your preferred nomenclature was.

  • From, well, everywhere: "R.E.M.R.I.P."

All in all, joking aside, R.E.M.'s announcement has come as a sombre and heartfelt address to fans from a band that has meant a lot to a lot of people.

Oh and also, Michael Stipe posted pictures of his penis as part of a collage on his new Tumblr blog "Confessions Of A Michael Stipe." So there's that...

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