Very overblown companion

The big entertainment news around these near-Wobegon regions yesterday was that Robert Altman will direct Lindsay Lohan and her protruding body parts in the film version of Garrison Keillor's A Prairie Home Companion. More than 29 news outlets put out clarion calls like "Altman movie to be filmed in St. Paul," "Lohan, Streep in New Altman Film," and "Altman to direct Prairie Home Companion Movie" in an attempt to snag the crossover Praire Home Companion/Herbie: Full Loaded crowd.

For film fans, these would all be attention-grabbing headlines if it weren't for the fact that Robert Altman has been in line to direct the movie for more than nine months now, and if Lohan, who has been attached to the project since early February, didn't tell the world last month that bleaching her red locks for the part was "so scary!" Either Woody Harrelson signing on (the only new item to come out yesterday) doesn't have the same cache as a 19-year-old whose breasts are mysteriously shrinking, or it's Groundhog Day and tomorrow's big headlines will be "Pope on feeding tube," "Lindsay Lohan to star in Robert Altman film." Please, make it stop!

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