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Uptown Bar sells out with sale of patio

It's a sad sight on Hennepin Avenue: the Uptown Bar & Cafe's beloved patio has disappeared and left only a few crumbs in a now empty lot. For years the Uptown patio hosted happy drinkers and smokers, enjoying their fix amidst the busy traffic and cool breeze. The demolish has left many buzzing with questions: why now, during prime patio season? Why would this dive rid its prized asset and oh, god, who is taking up this space? The answers are not very comforting...

The answers all revolve around money. Surprise, surprise. According to the bar's booking manager, Brian McDonough, "the owners sold the parking lot (and therefore patio) for a grip of money."

And who'd they sell it to? The rumors are correct: Columbia Sportwear. You know, the makers of those bright purple, green and pink ski jackets popular in the early '90s? They were so hot in the fifth grade and apparently their sales today make them the biggest relatailer of skiwear in the US.

McDonough says it best:

"A Columbia Sportswear Store, right next to North Face, because we all know that Uptown is overloaded with an abundance of mountain climbers and resort-skiers that can't find enough places to buy their 'look the part' clothing."

The Uptown Bar has totally sold out. Not only did they smash down that beautiful wreck of a patio, but they did it mid-summer, for a huge corporation that only reinstates the demise of the neighborhood itself. Victoria's Secret. North Face. Columbia Sportswear. What's next? Walmart?

"Once construction is complete next door, I'm sure the owners will figure out a replacement plan," McDonough says.

I would imagine the replacement options are slim, but maybe they'll figure out a way to construct some sort of floating oasis above the hat and mitten shack. Or better yet, let's hope they knock out half the bar and put in a pool.