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Throat cyst robs Minneapolis of Nickelback

Nickelback

Nickelback

Widely shit upon rock band Nickelback just announced the cancellation their North American tour, which included a July 25 stop at Target Center. The cited cause? The vocal cords of lead singer Chad Kroeger — the very ones used to belt hits "Rock Star" and "How You Remind Me" — were stricken by a cyst. The condition is operable and will require emergency surgery, according to a statement released Tuesday by the world's most hated band

Here's a benign take: We wish Chad a successful surgery and speedy recovery.

Here's a hotter one: Nickelback is not that bad, and hating on them is at least as boring as their brand of schlocky post-grunge. If you're looking to peer into Satan's rock 'n' roll abyss, this Icona Pop cover by Buckcherry is objectively 50 times worse than any Nickelback song. But Buckcherry feels the wrath of self-congratulatory haters, too. Where's the venom directed at Alt-J? Why does Milky Chance get a free pass? How can Matt and Kim giddily slap their asses with impunity? Worse yet, those artists operate under the pretenses of being "cool," something Nickelback would never dream of. There's an honest, populist homeliness about the Canadian band, so spare them your tired barbs.  

Anyway, Nickelback rules. Don't believe me? Read this glowing review published by AXS, the event-marketing platform that sells you Nickelback tickets, of the group's funk-inspired 2014 album, No Fixed Address. Fans who purchased tickets to the No Fixed Address Tour can expect full refunds.