Actual Craigslist ad picture -- We didn't Photoshop it.
Last week, I promised to post some ads on Craigslist under Casual Encounters; but I couldn’t. I realized that carrying out my little experiment was both exploitative and cruel, and I shouldn’t have even suggested it. Sorry.
(Authors note: Wait for it…wait for it….)
Kidding! Here we go...
This weekend I cannonballed into a seemingly bottomless pleasure pit when I posted not one, but two ads on Craigslist – one as a man, one as a woman - seeking a night of anonymous passion.
I started with my ad as a man. Following the guidelines that I carved out last week, I had three key messages that I wanted to convey to all of my potential lady readers:
1) That I was a sensitive, fun-loving guy who wanted nothing more than to spend his evening with a fine woman.
2) While I was interested in securing a passion-filled evening, I was open to our relationship possibly blossoming into something more.
3) It didn’t matter to me what they looked like on the outside; just who they were on the inside.
rock hard and ready to unload – m4w – 32 (twin cities)
i know what you want. your man is gone for the weekend hunting deer and you're stuck at home hunting for some hot dude-meat. let me fulfill all of your needs tonight and plug you like a real hunter should. also, i cant post a dick pic here because its too big to fit on a normal size computer screen.
contact me now and get ready to have your face rocked off. age and looks open.
Erotic poetry at it’s finest, yes?
Shockingly, women responded. The best one was from a woman who was very interested but wanted to see a photo because “there are a lot of weirdos on Craigslist.”
Remember, she was responding to an ad from a guy who used the words, “hot dude-meat.” Good thing she was picky.
Now it was time for the main event. For my ad as a woman, I decided to be very vague and not sound overly sex-starved.
Looking for some attention – w4m – 28 (twin cities)
Hi. I've never done this before, but I'm alone and bored on a Saturday and I could use some companionship. Not looking for anything serious, maybe just a little NSA fun???
In less than an hour, I had over 100 responses from guys of all ages offering to pleasure me all night, and one guy who was into “eating at the ‘Y’ for hours at a time.”
(Note to that guy: Not only are you the worst dirty-talker ever, you’re also a liar. You have never made a woman orgasm 11 times in a row. Douche.)
And then there were the dick pics, all of which were so hard that it appeared they might snap off at any moment (remember to squeeze at the base. Just saying).
After hours of reading responses and checking out random dudes’ dicks (I feel like this is a good time for me to give a big hello to my mother. Hi, mom!), my experiment was complete.
While I enjoyed my visit to the unapologetically passionate world of Casual Encounters, my recommendation would be to stay away. Because as I learned this weekend, once you start reading you’ll never stop.
Seriously: it’s like crack (erotic crack, that is).
PREVIOUS STORY: The Wet Spot - Erotic Adventures in Craigslist pt. 1