I know, I know: I missed a couple weeks there, didn't I? Settling into a new year is always an awkward proposition for me - the date change, transitioning into a whole new set of releases, the January blahs. I'm over all that shit now, though, so let's kick off 2011 with a (belated) bang, shall we?
[jump] Got Your Mixtapes, Heah
Archive.org Is Still Around, Is Still Awesome, Is Still Deserving Of Your Patronage
Lily Allen Is Already Pregnant Again
Well, not like literally knocked up: she's running a satellite boutique record label.
Lil Wayne Has A Serious Inferiority Complex When It Comes To NBA Superstars
Sez so here, anyway. Look, Weezy, you know who's acknowledged you and your abilities more than once? In public? Before television cameras? President Obama. He's been known to shoot some hoops now and again, but much more importantly, he's the president of the United States. So comfort yourself with that, buckle down on Tha Carter IV, and don't get your panties in a bunch when some overpaid NBA dudes don't give you dap while you're court side. To reiterate: you're on the president's iPod. Which is awesome.
Strokes To Return To Save Rock And Offer Informal Multimedia Couture Clinic This March
Which is exciting, but also kind of nerve-wracking, because, well, when journos start creaming themselves over long-awaited "return to form" comeback attempts like this, expectations are typically set sky high, and inevitably the long-awaited result winds up disappointing even those who insist that they're not really trainspotters, that they don't even care whether the band's got a "Hard To Explain II" in them. In other news, Angles is kind of the ultimate Strokes album title, isn't it?
Sebadoh To Trigger Flood of Torturous Undergrad Memories By Re-Issuing Yet Another Losercore Classic
This time, it's Bakesale. C'mon, you remember that one. Now you do. And now you're coming after Gimme Noise with an axe.
Elton John Is Somebody's Daddy
You read that right: "daddy," not "sugar daddy." Which is creeping us out, mostly because we're creeped out at the idea of fortysomethings and fiftysomethings becoming parents, because pretty much everyone we've ever known whose parents conceived them at that age wound up coming out a little stunted, a little strange. And Elton John is in his sixties. Also, if your dad is Elton John, you're totally going to be raised by nannies. Which brings us, in a weird way, to J.Lo, who became a new parent herself not so long ago, and who is now a judge on American Idol, which doesn't make a lick of sense to Gimme Noise, because both jobs demand a lot of patience and a willingness to accept incessant abuse, and both jobs are impossible to perform simultaneously. But maybe this shit makes a lot more sense when you have to choose from 20+ luxury automobiles to drive to the studio or set each morning. What do we know? We're serfs.
To Nobody's Surprise, Kanye West Sweeps Pazz and Jop
Yet to Gimme Noise's eternal surprise, a cadre of card-carrying hipsters still rep for LCD Soundsystem and forsook mash-up crown prince Girl Talk.