The Songs We Can't Escape

Champagne has more than enough celebratory supporters by now, doesn't it? I'm not going to rationalize Insane Clown Posse's existence, but their continued endorsement of Faygo is laudable and (gasp) actually relatable.

"'Til We Merry Meet Again"

Puck-esque pan-flute solos! Maypole melodies! An extra incentive to finally make that animated slash-fic YouTube cartoon of Samwise the Brave and Frodo dancing that you've been putting off. Festive!

"Awakening Side A"

Side B gets into some halting, hard-edged synth exercises, sure. Thankfully, Side A is all about lathering up with perfumed soaps in pristine yet abandoned spas and finding nirvana in dust-bunnied record-needle crackle and fluttering hi-hat heartbeats.



"The Greatest Light Is the Greatest Shade"

You know, I think I get why My Bloody Valentine's Kevin Shields is such a reclusive guy. If you were in large part responsible for the syrupy drone-gloop pop genre known as shoegaze—which is now almost disgustingly ubiquitous thanks to computer programs—and believed time-travel was possible, wouldn't you maintain a low profile? It's only a matter of time before some hipster circa 2098 A.D. gets fed up, hops in the Wayback Machine, and takes it upon himself to off Shields in his teens.

"Woe Is You and Me"

Dudes are barely into their 20s and already weeping into their bier steins over love lost? Or maybe they thought it'd make a fine yarn. Whichever: When these Boys really grow up, they'll have us in awe of their progressive miseries, all Kings of Leon-like.