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The Popstream: Masta Ace, ''Me and the Biz''

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"Goddammit. Where the fuck is Biz? We're makin' a video for a track with his name in the title, and he isn't even here for the shoot."

"I dunno where he is. Did you check Kay-Bee? I know dude collects Barbies; maybe they launched a new Ken doll or something. Maybe he's takin' the Barbie 'Vette in to get its oil changed."

"Man, stop clownin'. He's probably just got a DJ set that he forgot to tell us about or somethin'. Maybe Marl knows. Hey! Hey Marl!"

"Yo, gimme a sec, I'm on the phone wi-- nah, sorry, LL, I just had to tell Ace to hold up a sec. He was just yellin' at me about some Biz not bein' here shit. I dunno. Yeah. Uh-huh, yeah. Yeah, you're welcome, that's like my hottest beat ever. Yeah... naw, that's cool, the boxing ring idea? Yeah, that'd make a good video. Go for it."

"Psssh, OK, never mind... all right, I say we give Biz fifteen minutes, and if he doesn't show up we'll just turn this into a video for 'Brooklyn Battles'."

"What? That isn't even the single! 'Me and the Biz' is the single! Marl got this dope-ass Cymande break for me and he's all 'yeah, you killed this, you should make this your first video', and... c'mon. For real? We're doin' this."

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"OK, OK... hold up, I got an idea. I mean, that ain't actually Biz on the track, right? That's just you doing a weird Biz Markie imitation 'cause he didn't even show up for the recording session."

"Yeah, so? What, you want me to dress up like him? 'Cause I dunno if you noticed this, but there's like a hundred pound discrepancy between the two of us. And I already got this fly purple sport coat. I'm wearin' that as much as possible for this video, so --"

"Wait."

"What?"

"We'll use a puppet."

"..."

"Ace?"

"A puppet. For real?"

"Yeah! This is on some next-level shit! Once the video takes off and Cold Chillin' puts their weight behind Take a Look Around, the Biz puppet's gonna be bigger than Alf! We can make little replicas, get some merchandising loot off Biz Markie dolls!"

"Who the hell would want to buy a doll of a rapper? That's ridiculous."

"Nah, don't worry, I'm'a call up this dude I know, he's like one of the top three puppet-makers in Brooklyn, he can get a Biz made in about a half an hour. We're good with this."

"All right, all right, fine. Long as he doesn't make the puppet ugly or anything."

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