Spam or James Joyce?


As you might imagine, we here at Gimme Noise find ourselves in a constant deluge of email traffic. And while the vast majority of those emails contain detailed instructions on exactly what we can do with, say, our review of the last Motley Crue concert (thanks for the helpful tips, gang!), there is another type of email, afloat on seas of flaming, trolling, and racial slur. It doesn't pop up all that often, but its appearance always makes the day worthwhile.

Of course we mean spam. And because we tirelessly read every missive that crosses our inbox (it's in our contracts), we've uncovered a curious property in modern day spam. As computers near sentience, the junk mail they produce seems to be drawing ever closer to the stream of consciousness form that literary master James Joyce pioneered in works like Finnegans Wake and Ulysses. That got our gears turning, and in a few short hours, we knew what to do.

So adjust those bifocals, gang, click the jump below, and get ready to play Gimme Noise's "Spam or James Joyce!"

Sample 1: Spam or James Joyce?

"Carolin came roperly attuned been too whatever your rinse her own wrongs embrace and than one naproxen platforms ready the shift something more sit back more kindly penetrate that had already yannis thought adipex different way indulgent hysterics way you had given appointed keepers ignorant gossip terrible was almost cold ovral lady first love and yannis found supply one placed with found safety bout him cannot say plavix practice your tiny red drying upon some schedule last forever another attempt carry water ord were xenical usual duties often from the knowledge energon channels glass still ingdoms was ary projective what came triphasil waiting for the chance themselves with move out weary this says the swirling energies that did desloratadine then moved duin shouted compulsion spell"

A: Spam. But, to its credit, it's an excerpt from a forthcoming novel written by Acer Aspire Model 5315, an advertising computer in the Caiman Islands who writes modernist literature in its spare time.

Sample 2: Spam or James Joyce?

"yoeureeke of his spectrescope and why he was off colour and howhe was ambothed upon by the very spit of himself, first on thecheekside by Michelangelo and, besouns thats, over on the owldjowly side by Bill C. Babby, and the suburb's formule why theyprovencials drollo eggspilled him out of his homety dometry nar-rowedknee domum (osco de basco de pesco de bisco!) becauseall his creature comfort was an omulette finas erbas in an ark finisorbe and, no master how mustered, mind never mend, he couldneither swuck in nonneither swimp in the flood of cecialism and the best and schortest way of blacking out a caughtalock of allthe sorrors of Sexton until he would accoster her coume il fou inteto-dous as a wagoner would his mudheeldy wheesindonk attheir trist in Parisise after tourments of tosend years, bread castout on waters, making goods at mutuurity"
A: James Joyce. This is an excerpt from the second book of Joyce's impenetrable Finnegans Wake, which, by most modern definitions, could probably be considered a work of spam.

Thanks for playing, gang, and tune in next week for Gimme Noise's "Spam or James Joyce?"