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Rick James: The Ouija Interview

Rick James: The Ouija Interview

It's been a while, gang, since our resident mediums have rousted that deceased for a fireside chat. We had planned to interview the spirit of Joaquin Phoenix, but certain arrangements we made to make the interview possible have fallen through at the last minute. So, while we contact a good criminal lawyer, we decided to pass the time with wig enthusiast, master torturer and occasional musician Rick James.

So kick back, good readers, and take a trip down the Superfreak's afterlife. Gimme Noise apologetically presents Rick James: The Ouija Interview.


Gimme Noise:

Hi Rick.


Ouija Board:

(no response)


GN:

Rick?


OB:

RCK JAME


GN:

(no response)


RJ:

IM RICK


GN:

Yes. We've all seen that Chapelle sketch. When--


RJ:

SUPEFRK


GN:

Soupfreak?


RJ:

(no response)


GN:

I'm under deadline here, Rick.


RJ:

(no response)


GN:

Burning a girl with a crack pipe?


RJ:

HELL YES


GN:

What the fuck, dude.


RJ:

SPRFREK


GN:

And that hair.


RJ:

(no response)


GN:

That awful hair.


RJ:

HELL YES


GN:

You've got some serious explaining to do.


RJ:

(no response)


GN:

So, you and Eddie Murphy must have been up to some pretty kinky shit.


RJ:

YES


GN:

I'm betting Murphy backed out at the torture shenanigans.


RJ:

NO


GN:

Murphay was down for that?


RJ:

DOWN


GN:

How about that!


RJ:

(no response)


GN:

I've heard you're a real ball buster.


RJ:

WHAT


GN:

As a band leader.


RJ:

WHO


GN:

I'd rather not--


RJ:

WHO WHO


GN:

Don't raise your voice at me.


RJ:

  (no response)


GN:

I keep my secrets.


RJ:

(no response)


GN:

Who do you hang out with up there?


RJ:

BROWN


GN:

James Brown?


RJ:

ALLIN


GN:

Wait. Which--


RJ:

HAMSUN


GN:

Knut Hamsun? Are you--


RJ:

NIETZSCHE


GN:

(no response)


RJ:

CROWLEY


GN:

(no response)


RJ:

  JUDAS


GN:

So I take it you went downstairs, not up.


RJ:

NIXON


GN:

Really! He headed downstairs too?


RJ:

ELVIS


GN:

No great surprise I suppose.


RJ:

(no response)


GN:

Go on. This is dynamite stuff.


RJ:

(no response)


GN:

Rick?


RJ:

GOODBYE


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