Rebecca Black's transformation to soulless pop cyborg is complete


Five things that are depressing about the new Rebecca Black video, ranked in order of how despondent they make me:

1. It's not nearly as awful as "Friday," not even a little bit, because everything unique and distinct and, yeah, awful about Black has been filtered through so many voice manipulators that she sounds completely soulless, robotic, dull, acceptable.

2. It embraces the whole new millenium "You can be famous just for being famous" zeitgeist of so many Hiltons and Kardashians and depicts Ms. Black in a variety of completely fabricated celeb scenarios, walking down delusional red carpets, shuffling to god-knows-where in limos, and shooting some other music video -- not this one, but one set to the same song that we will presumably never see because it is fake.

3. It was posted to YouTube yesterday afternoon and already has over a million views.

4. The "behind the scenes" (LOL) footage of her "hard at work" in the studio depicts her singing with a live band, including a real live guitar player and bass player who are obviously not actually playing anything at all. 

5. The song is terrible and won't even get stuck in my head or anything.


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