Take a small block of wood, add plastic wheels, paint the thing with sparkly paint, and add some badass stickers. Bring it to the Pinewood Derby Championships. Try not to cry when small children whoop your ass in the race.
This Saturday, the Mall of America will host the Pinewood Derby Championships. Traditionally a Boy/Cub Scouts of America competition, the event will also be open for adults, alumni, and freaks later in the day.
Show up sometime during the hours of 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. to watch the 200 best little cars compete in the final showdown for prizes from every little boys dream store: Home Depot. After 4 p.m. the track opens up for everyone, so bring your car to race against the best cars in the state.
The first Pinewood Derby was held in California 56 years ago. To this day it is still a popular event that many a child and adult think fondly of. For more info on this year's event, visit www.mallofamerica.com.