Never mind the phone bills

class=img_thumbleft> The obsession over how much celebrities earn has boiled over recently, flooding the heating ducts and overflowing urinals at CTG Towers. How much did Diablo score in her

movie deal

? How much did John McCain earn for appearing in last weekend's

boob raunch fest

? Besides interpretive dance, writing books will propably give the worst return on your artistic investment, and so it came to pass over the weekend that Neal Pollack, author of the acclaimed

Never Mind the Pollacks

and the upcoming

Chicago Noir

, announced on his


that he and his wife are flat broke and could use some work. Contact Neal from

this page

and, in the words of Janeane Garofalo, you can have the "Norman Mailer of his generation" copywriting your company's next brochure.

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