For many, summertime concerts at Vetter Stone Amphitheater are downright heavenly.
Not so for Barb Church, the North Mankato resident who's "virtually tortured almost every single weekend" by noise coming from the riverside venue.
Church, who lives just across the Minnesota River from Vetter Stone, informed the North Mankato City Council of her beef last Tuesday. The main noisy culprits? Acts like hard-rock cover band Hairball and pop-rapper Nelly, she told the council.
"Our windows rattle, our walls shake, and this is just not right," Church said, pleading with the council to at least consider adding noise concerns to its agenda. She said the issue culminated last October when Nelly came to town. The "Country Grammar" hitmaker caused decibel levels to hit 110 dBs at her home, she reports. That's comparable to a leafblower, a chainsaw, or ... a live rock concert.
Church seems to be dreading the first Vetter Stone gig scheduled for 2017: Alice Cooper on June 9.
"I'm here to tell you: I think Alice Cooper is going to be very similar to Hairball and to Nelly," she said. Church's concerns aren't limited to the volume of the shock-rock great. Cooper, 69, might be as destructive to morality as he is to ear drums, she informed the council.
“Having now looked up the lyrics, I don’t think it’s wise for our community to have to listen to foul language," Church said. "I don’t think we have to listen to things about suicide.”
Cooper, an affable Republican golf fanatic when off the clock, famously slices off his own head via guillotine during live shows.
Church suggested moving "Hairball-like kinds of concerts" from Vetter Stone to the indoor Verizon Wireless Center, located about a mile away. In her fiery closing remarks, she implored her council members to "step up" and offer some sort of resolution. Should they fail, Church says, she'll explore other remedies.
In other amphitheater news: Minneapolis could soon get a 10,000-seater that features a marina, parks, "residential towers," and giant glowing half-orbs.