Mystic Lake has good news for Gwen Stefani fans who don't care about the Super Bowl

Gwen Stefani: The opposite of football.

Gwen Stefani: The opposite of football. Special to the Star Tribune

Fast forward to February 4, 2018, and the very worst-case scenario.

The Super Bowl is a blowout. The party you’re at is a drag. You think to yourself, “I wish I could just cut out of here and spend $1,500 to see Gwen Stefani perform at a casino in Shakopee.”

Well guess what? You'll totally be able to do that. Mystic Lake has just announced that Stefani will be the fourth and final artist performing in Club Nomadic on Super Bowl week. She's slotted at 9 p.m. on Sunday. Yes, that Sunday. (More info here.)

ICYM the rest of the lineup, Thursday night is the Chainsmokers (aka the Florida Georgia Line of pop EDM), Friday night is pop star Ellie Goulding and big-name DJ Kygo, and Saturday night is Florida Georgia Line (aka the Chainsmokers of pop country). 

Tickets for the Stefani show are either $200 or $1,500, which bespeaks a healthy attitude toward gouging our wealthy out-of-state Super Bowl guests. In fact, I propose that local businesses adopt the following song as their unofficial anthem for Super Bowl week.