MySpace Mix-Up: Dice Gamez
Welcome to the first edition of MySpace Mix-Up, a blog in which David Hansen chooses two words at random from the dictionary and attempts to find a matching band name on the internet.
To be fair to Dice Gamez, the words chosen at random from an American Heritage dictionary were, no kidding, "zipper" and "boner." Serendipitous, eh?
To our chagrin, the band name remains unclaimed in the annals of Myspace music pages. But the search engine offered "Ripped bones" as a suggestion, which linked, after some snooping, to a song by Dice Gamez, a long-defunct metal band out of Medford, New York.
On a day like today, where the Monday doldrums conspire with our intractable sloth and the idle desire to make fun of innocents, we offer you today's Myspace mix-up: Dice Gamez.
They've got one song and two friends (one of them being the ever-stalwart, loyal Myspace founder Tom), and the song in question is "Ripped to Bones." The song starts promisingly-- some keyboard doodles evoking a Rush-esque interstellar soundscape, noodling into some Mastodon inflected guitar soloing.
It's when the crunchy powerchord riffing enters the scene that eyebrows tilt upward. They self describe as death metal, a title assignment that would surely make Per Yngve Ohlin roll in his crypt-- the song that ensues, for a time anyway, would be happily at home in any minor league hockey arena, booming ineffectually from the rafters.
It's when the lead vocalist (graciously unnamed on the Myspace page) shows up that the song goes into a terminal tailspin. There are many shortcuts with which a vocalist can paper over his inability to scream or growl-- there's the overdriven whisper, the "out-the-nose" screech. There's no shortage of ways to skirt a fragile voice box..
But woah. The feeble, strained squeak of Dice Gamez's lead singer sits on top of the whole mix like a leaf floating on a mud puddle. One can only assume that the singer was also in charge of the mix-- any engineer worth his salt would have been only too quick to mix that fine whine down beneath the guitars and drums.
"Ripped to Bones" isn't exactly a waste of two and a half minutes. In fact, there's something more than a little intriguing about discovering it at random. After a few years as the reigning webspace for musicians and their wares, Myspace is set to become our musical Smithsonian, a dusty old tome full of bands that, as with Dice Gamez, only a handful of people ever knew existed in the first place.
The song, at the very least, is sincere, and its musicianship not entirely incapable. Check it out for yourself, and, for its two and a half minutes, whatever your musical tastes are, have the odd feeling of planting your feet on alien soil, where only a handful of humans have trod before you.
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