The gross anecdotes don't stop there.
For no reason in particular, Moby volunteered information about his depressingly disgusting hotel eating habits. The 53-year-old DJ/producer tells readers about a scene inside a Minneapolis Holiday Inn. After defrosting Tofu Pups in the hotel sink (they became "as warm as a lawn on a summer day"), Moby got all MacGyver on the protein links, per the Guardian.
"I didn’t have a knife, so I used the subscription card from a copy of In Minneapolis magazine to spread mustard on two pieces of bread," Moby overshares. "I put my tofu pups and bread on a hand towel, and ate them while watching an old episode of The Simpsons, and drinking day-old carrot juice."
To quote Jenny Lewis:
ew moby— jenny lewis (@jennylewis) May 22, 2019
Moby remembers the meal as a triumph.
"I had a No. 1 album in the U.K.," he writes, "which made a lukewarm Holiday Inn tofu pup the most wonderful meal I’d ever eaten."
Amazingly, a classic Simpsons episode depicts Homer discovering frozen hot dogs thawing in the sink, which he considers to be a horrifying sign that Marge will soon seek divorce. In that case, thawing wieners are symbolic of hitting rock bottom. For Moby, however, they're the taste of success, apparently.
All right, have a fun Memorial Day weekend. Scarf lots of hot dogs, preferably in a joyous context.