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Misanthropology: Auto-tune, Kevin Costner, and Chilly Gonzales

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Another week, another mudslide of repugnant human offal. And here we lie at the bottom of the dogpile, struggling to breathe.

Well, pinch your noses, Gimme Noisers. This week's misanthropology offers plenty of things to feel self righteous about.

Auto-Tune-- Can't sing? Don't try. That's why rap was invented.

Chilly Gonzales-- If he wants to play Chopsticks for 27 hours, fine. Any day that keeps him away from Feist does them both a favor.

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Kevin Costner playing Music in the Zoo-- The poor creatures have suffered enough. And until Perry Farrell comes begging for a part in Tin Cup 2, we'll thank Costner to stay out of our music festivals.

The way white people react to jazz-- It's not transcendental meditation. It's a guy blowing sour notes through a saxophone for a four dollar cover.

Your loud-mouthed, catty gay friend who thinks the fat girl at the bar isn't doing herself any favors in those jeans-- You know, my Rainbow bumper sticker comes off with enough elbow grease.

Fat children-- Just because it's not your fault doesn't mean you're not an abomination.