She probably won't be using it at her rallies, but Representative Michele Bachmann has had a new ode penned in her honor just in time for the upcoming election. Roe Pressley, a multi-talented local musician who also makes beats and DJs under the name Swee2th, wrote and recorded a sweet little acoustic country number called "An Ode to Michele Bachmann," which features the charming chorus "Oh, Michele, you can go to hell / You play this town like it's your toy, I'm embarrassed to be a Stillwater boy."
[jump] "Because I know how much City Pages loooooves Michele Bachmann, I wanted to share this original creation with you and your readers," Pressley writes. "A musical ode to my hometown's resident nutcase. Since I no longer live in her district, this is all I can do to help sink her battleship..."
Lyrics:There's a woman that I know from the land of ice and snowYou can hear her on the TV and on the radioEvery time she flaps her mouth I think I must be in the southAlways talking about issues she don't know nothing aboutShe's a representative to the folks of District 6But the only thing she's ever done is whine and scream and bitchShe's just tryin' to keep her seat and keep on suckin' at the government teatBut you know what I want her to suck? ... The bitter taste of defeat! Oh, Michele, you can go to hellYou play this town like it's your toy, I'm embarrassed to be a Stillwater boyMichele, you think your shit don't smellYou vote against supportin' our troops and fight against the gay rights groups It was in the year aught-eight when I first gazed upon your faceRamblin' on about some congressmen you wanted to investigateYou proved it ain't who's got the facts, it's who can shout more loudJoe McCarthy, God damn his soul, he'd sure be mighty proud! Oh, Michele, you can go to hellYour Tea Party seems mighty gay, hanging out with stuffed animals all dayMichele, come out 'a your shellYour Jesus might absolve your sins, but he sure wouldn't vote Republican! You pal around with folks who spread their messages of hateYou say there's no such thing as the separation of church and stateYou said you'd slit your wrists just to kill the health care billWell I'd rather see you slit your wrists on top of Capitol Hill Oh, Michele, come out 'a your shellYour family values ain't for me, I got two gay dudes in my family treeMichele, I guess time will tellAre the people in District Six so dumb that they'll let you serve another one? You don't believe in evolution and I guess that that's just fineI don't buy into organized religion most the timeBut you say if schools teach Darwin, they should teach Creation, tooYour intelligent designer must have given up on you Oh Michele, you're as dumb as a bellThat's why you won't participate in any televised debateMichele, I guess time will tellIs the anti-Christ alive and well? Will the Catholics really all burn in Hell?Michele, I don't mean to yell,But I can't support your crazy views, I don't waste my time watching Fox NewsMichele, you think your shit don't smellYou're trying to start a culture war, but that ain't what I pay taxes for!
In other Bachmann-in-the-arts news, "Michele! The Musical Bachumanntary" is running through October 30 at the Minneapolis Theater Garage.