OMG! Dude! This weekend! Is! Awesome! What do you mean you're tired, it's been a crappy week, and you're staying in? HELL! WITH! THAT! GET OVER! IT!
What do you mean you're worried you're getting laid off? Stop being a negative nelly! PARTY! YEAH!
Come on, I'm going to drag you out of the house. You're in the dumps, what you need is some awesome music and non-stop fun! This could be the GREATEST WEEKEND of your LIFE!
Don't believe me? Check out the PIGPILE of FUN this weekend! OMG!
Holy Crap! The Meat Puppets! Remember when Kurt Cobain talked about how great they were and you were twelve and didn't bother to buy their album because their name weirded you out? They are still alive, strong, and playing the 400 Bar! Who doesn't love the 400 Bar? Plus, if you can't do that, Deer Tick is at the Triple Rock! Everyone loves Deer Tick! They're folky and blues but still sort of dirty and hip! Yeah! DO IT!
Okay, fine, you are too grumpy for rock? How about electronic multi-instrumental stuff? DOSH! DOSH! DOSH! It's his CD release show in the Entry! And Trampled By Turtles ripping up bluegrass with their BARE HANDS in the Mainroom! Street Sounds dance party in the Record Room! Why are you complaining?
Look, you're really getting me down. Why the long face? San Diego's the Soft Pack is playing at the Turf Club with Male Bonding (Subpop) and the Bombay Sweets! YEAH! Paragraphs + Falcon Arrow are playing at Nick & Eddie. Trampled By Turtles bluegrass-shreds AGAIN at First Ave! Dosh at Macphail! HOLY CRAP!
Man, okay, I give up. You want to be in a crappy mood, fine. Stay at home and watch Brewster's Millions or some other '80s comedy with Richard Pryor for all I care. Me, I'm gonna be at Sauce watching Central Division play, or maybe I'll stop in at the Turf Club for "Hairy Karaoke," whatever that is. Or, I could catch Dosh a third time at Bedlam.
But you don't care, mopey, and fine, I'll go out on my one. Text me if you change your mind.