UPDATE (3:54 p.m. Aug. 4): ClickHole added tiered donation incentives, ranging from the $20 mark ("The ClickHole Twitter account will tweet the words “Bob Dylan” at you"), to $50 ("We will call you and whisper the entirety of Bob Dylan’s discography"), and all the way up to $1,000 ("We will let you name the bed"). The total donation tally currently sits at $1,125.)
UPDATE (11 a.m. Aug. 18): Those crazy bastards at ClickHole actually went through with it. Check out photos of the order confirmation form for Bob Dylan's brand-new bed here. In a Facebook post, CH writes: "Bob’s bed officially shipped over the weekend, and as you can see from the picture of the Sleep Number remote below, it’s been specially personalized for 'The Man In The Hat” himself!'"
UPDATE (5:13 p.m. Aug. 18): "The eagle has landed."
#BringBackOurGirls. #BlackLivesMatter. #BedForBob?
A new hashtag is sweeping the internet (OK, maybe not quite), and the purpose behind it is hilariously absurd: gifting Bob Dylan a new bed. Of course, the Minnesota-born music deity can afford his own place to sleep, but the inspired comic minds at ClickHole, the Onion's satirical BuzzFeed parody, still went ahead yesterday and posted an article titled Let’s Do This, Internet: We’re Launching A GoFundMe Campaign To Buy Bob Dylan A Brand-New Sleep Number Adjustable Bed!
Under the guise of showing appreciation for Dylan's rich and vast contributions to music and culture, ClickHole intends to show its appreciation "the only way we know how": buying a famously crotchety 74-year-old millionaire a brand-new Sleep Number adjustable bed. It's not just a joke, however, as ClickHole launched an honest-to-goodness GoFundMe campaign that's accepting honest-to-goodness money. Should the crowd-funding campaign fail, all the cash raised will be refunded to donors, according to an update left by ClickHole editors. In the increasingly more likely event that it succeeds, the team at ClickHole intends to deliver — literally. Here's a note posted to the GoFundMe page:
"We, the editorial team at ClickHole.com, do not know Bob Dylan personally, but as long-time fans we felt this would be a wonderful way to show him our appreciation. Out of the $1,359.97 we’re trying to raise, $1,099.98 of it will go towards the bed itself, $179.99 will go towards shipping, and the remaining $80 will cover taxes. Once the money is raised, we will purchase the bed and have it sent to the Columbia Records headquarters in New York, care of Mr. Dylan."
In 19 hours, the campaign has racked up $668 of its $1,360 goal from 95 donors. We'd like to think everyone is in on the joke, and while that mostly appears to be the case, the wink-nudge nature of the bed drive might be evading some GoFundMe users. Here's commenter Jeff Horton:
"no I will not contribute to buying a multi millionaire a bed. this is one of the craziest things i have ever seen. really make me lose respect for go fund me. people are starving,dying, animals are being murdered in their own habitat and we are going to by bob dylan a bed. insane"
Other users, like Eric Jon, seem to get what's up:
"I wish I could see the look on Mr. Dylan's face when he walks into Columbia Records Headquarters like he does every single morning to find his new sleep number bed there."
The Minnesota connection is twofold: Bob Dylan, of course, was born in Hibbing, while Select Comfort Corp., the manufacturer of Sleep Number beds, is headquartered in Plymouth. Given the hyper-specific nature of the bed in question, the post is possibly advertorial or native advertising — the dubious digital ad trend explored magnificently by John Oliver — but we'll be goddamned if it's not the funniest thing around.
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