Kindly Think Again Before Making a Podcast

Drew Ailes is an outspoken degenerate who recently ate a mint chocolate candy bar he found on the ground during a mosh pit. If you don't like his advice, then why the hell did you ask?

Dear Drew,

I want to be involved in more art, but I don't have the time to start a band and I suck at drawing. I was thinking about starting a podcast that features musicians and popular local people. Does that sound lame or should I try it?

-- Testing, Testing

Hi Testing,

Of course it sounds lame. It sounds like you're lazy and looking to find a way to pivot off of the efforts of other people.

I know it seems like one of those, "Hey, I'll just set up this stupid shit and make some stupid shit," sort of projects, but it's actually a pretty considerable amount of work to put together a worthwhile production.

In addition to actually taking the time to plan out segments and coordinate interview questions (not everyone you talk to actually has interesting things to say), you also have to figure out how to do relatively simple and tedious things like editing. In summary, doing anything decently still takes work.

Don't start a podcast. You're going to get discouraged within a year when nobody gives a shit about it and then you're going to give up. After you give up, it will sit in your personal graveyard of failures and inadequacies. Its creative corpse will forever gaze at your future corpse.

Maybe you should take up some sort of hobby like trolling model airplane message boards or sending psychotic emails to your favorite snack cake brands. Those destructive hobbies will certainly be more entertaining for you and your peers than your brilliant weekly bit where you change the lyrics to popular Nine Inch Nails songs to be about fast food.

The only exception to the rule of, "Don't start a podcast, idiot," is if you're one of the few people who genuinely loves creating their own shows and material. In that case, you're probably going to do the shit for years regardless of what sort of audience and acclaim you do or don't achieve -- which actually gives you a chance of getting recognition. With any creative outlet, longevity outweighs even dazzling creativity.

But that's probably not you. If you were actually a person brimming with passion, you'd probably just decide to do it rather than asking me for some sort of reassurance.

Drew Ailes is also stupid on Twitter. Tweet questions to @countbakula.


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