Kenny and Dolly and Christmas reminiscences
I dedicate this to my mother, who has for nigh on a quarter of a century nursed my unhealthy fixation on a particular Christmas album.
The holidays are a time for reminiscing. I remember the time Santa Claus ran into my dad outside our house on Christmas Eve and passed along a gift for me and my sister: Talking Big Bird, who read us books when we'd stick a tape up his ass. I remember hiding when Santa would stop by our house in the flesh, and screaming bloody murder when placed on his lap. I remember Kenny Rogers made a less intimidating version of Santa Claus for his 1984 Christmas album and CBS special with Dolly Parton, Kenny & Dolly: A Christmas to Remember. I remember a time when my family and I would listen to this album every year while decorating our tree with unattractive little trinkets my talentless ass made in grade school.
I remember a time when Kenny and Dolly still looked like human beings.
I can't locate the CBS special anywhere though clips are available on YouTube, including a beautiful scene set to "Christmas Without You" featuring Dolly as a busty, down-home chanteuse in a USO club and Kenny as a serviceman in need of a little cheerin' up. Reminisce with me, then go pick up the album, darn it! Check the country and holiday sections at Cheapo. It'll be there, and only set you back a few bucks. Trust me, it's a real gem.
Track 1: "I Believe in Santa Claus"
Track 2: "Winter Wonderland/Sleigh Ride"
Track 3: "Christmas Without You"
Track 6: "With Bells On"
Track 8: "The Greatest Gift of All"
Track 9: "White Christmas"
Track 10: "Once Upon a Christmas"
If you don't melt when you hear Dolly's squeaky li'l voice sing in "I Believe in Santa Claus" that she believes in miracles, believes in magic too, believes in Santa Claus and believes in you, if you're not moved by a set of gigantic breasts and a big blonde wig well, then you haven't a heart at all.
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