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Kanye 'Gay Fish' West leaves gaping hole in the Twitterverse

There are a couple celebrities we like to follow on Twitter when we have the time -- people like Tina Fey and Shaq (seriously) remind us that famous people aren't all douchebags (OK, Shaq is still kind of a nozz). Having said that, Kanye "I'm just like John Lennon" West is not on Twitter, and for that we rejoice. Can you imagine the things he would Tweet? There aren't enough 'block' and 'ignore' buttons in the universe.

"Just spoonfed 100,000 people at the Target Center a slice of heaven. Staying an extra night to baptize Prince's illegitimate son in my aftershow sweat" 

Hmm... Maybe he should Twitter after all, being the grand entertainer he is. Oh, the possibilities! Wonder if he'll change his mind from this:

"[I] DON'T HAVE A F****** TWITTER... WHY WOULD I USE TWITTER??? I ONLY BLOG 5 PERCENT OF WHAT I'M UP TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. I'M ACTUALLY SLOW DELIVERING CONTENT BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY ACTUALLY BUSY BEING CREATIVE MOST OF THE TIME AND IF I'M NOT AND I'M JUST LAYING ON A BEACH I WOULDN'T TELL THE WORLD. EVERYTHING THAT TWITTER OFFERS I NEED LESS OF. THE PEOPLE AT TWITTER KNOW I DON'T HAVE A F****** TWITTER SO FOR THEM TO ALLOW SOMEONE TO POSE AS ME AND ACCUMULATE OVER A MILLION NAMES IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND DECEITFUL TO THERE FAITHFUL USERS. REPEAT... THE HEADS OF TWITTER KNEW I DIDN'T HAVE A TWITTER AND THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHICH ACCOUNTS HAVE HIGH ACTIVITY ON THEM. IT'S A F****** FARCE AND IT MAKES ME QUESTION WHAT OTHER SO CALLED CELEBRITY TWITTERS ARE ACTUALLY REAL OR FAKE. HEY TWITTER, TAKE THE SO CALLED KANYE WEST TWITTER DOWN NOW .... WHY? ... BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!!"

@CityPages to #kanyewest: Every time you feel inspired to turn your caps lock key to 11 and blast your fiendishly doting public, please consider the following, which inside sources tell us humbled you a great deal: