In terms of goofin' around on the internet, Monday was a day like any other.
Until it wasn't.
Because I'm so hyper-productive at my job as City Pages' web editor, I afford myself bonus time throughout the day to participate in the breakneck inanity of Twitter.com. For no reason in particular, I fired off a tweet at Lil Nas X, the 20-year-old rapper who's dominating the charts (not without controversy) via his viral country-trap hit, "Old Town Road."
For the uninitiated, here's "Old Town Road," a true bop for the ages:
For the still interested, here's my dumb tweet at Lil Nas X:
@LilNasX hi Lil Nas X, big fan. Who do you support in 2020?— Jay Boller (@jaymboller) April 22, 2019
To my great surprise, the rising rap star responded with a quote-tweeted non-answer.
yes, i did make old town road https://t.co/DyZTooFs2a— nope (@LilNasX) April 22, 2019
I was confused.
Then the teens descended.
Sensing Millennial blood in the water, they began flooding my mentions with meme-fueled, irony-drenched ridicule. That's when I got really confused. The reasons the teens hated me appeared to be twofold.
First, they seemed to think I was practicing Couric-ian "gotcha journalism," attempting to trap Lil Nas X in a politically charged, clickbaity headline. Not the case, but understandable. Second, they almost universally derided me as a Baby Boomer. Objectively not the case, which I foolishly thought could be cleared up by stating my age:
I'm 31!— Jay Boller (@jaymboller) April 22, 2019
Then the teens really started dragging me, meme after baffling meme.
Like this one:
And that one:
And let's not forget this doozy:
It carried on like that all day, all night, and well into the publication of this blog. Against my better demographic judgment, I accepted my fate as a Baby Boomer, despite my shared contempt for the generation that ruined everything.
Glowing with that zen-like acceptance, I freed myself to learn more about how and why I'm such a Boomer. Google led me to this YouTube explainer, which mostly cleared things up: To a certain subset of extremely online young people, anybody over 30 is a Boomer, including Millennials and Gen Xers (no word on the Greatest Generation). Members of Gen Z, those born between the mid-1990s and mid-2000s, are considered Zoomers.
Apparently we Boomers play dated video games, spend our days trading Bitcoin while listening to LMFAO, and are, generally, to be treated with disdain.
That feeling is not mutual.
Despite getting teed off on for 24 hours and counting, I respect the deep irony and uniform conviction of the Zoomers who are making me feel 10,000 years old. They'll inherit the earth one day, and I have full faith they'll do as well but probably better than every previous generation, all of whom have fared terribly. That's especially true for the actual Baby Boomers, including rock legend David Crosby, who blocked me on Twitter following this ordeal.
Maybe I should just log off and meditate to "Party Rock Anthem."